Eric Northman (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
texted3times) wrote2011-11-19 11:24 pm
texted3times) wrote2011-11-19 11:24 pm
Voicemail
"This is Eric. Leave a message. If it's urgent, contact Jack Priest."
BEEP.
BEEP.
Jaina was pretty sure Eric was going to be asleep by this time, so she stuck to text rather than calling. She sort of thought he'd get more of a kick out of this story than she was, really.
Trying to get to Fandom via the Ice Age. Fought a saber tooth tiger. If Im not the most badass woman youve ever slept with I never want to know about it.
Oh good, she still had a sense of humor. Let's see if that lasted the day.
Trying to get to Fandom via the Ice Age. Fought a saber tooth tiger. If Im not the most badass woman youve ever slept with I never want to know about it.
Oh good, she still had a sense of humor. Let's see if that lasted the day.
Some time after the last text, say, around the time Jaina was in Timbuktu, another one came through.
I know I usually tell you not to eat things, but if you wanna go after the Portalocity gnome Im fine with that.
I know I usually tell you not to eat things, but if you wanna go after the Portalocity gnome Im fine with that.
Jaina didn't want to spam. So she might keep it at this unless something else horrible happened. And she felt this was relevant to his interests.
When I get there- AND I WILL GET THERE- Im sleeping for half my day, and then probably drinking a lot. You have been warned.
When I get there- AND I WILL GET THERE- Im sleeping for half my day, and then probably drinking a lot. You have been warned.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
"Eric, it's Sookie." A pause, as she collected her thoughts, and then, "I have no idea who Joan is, by the way, but I wanted to talk to you. I -- Bobby and I are stuck in his world, and it's...going away. I don't know what's happening, but please tell our friends there -- Karla, and Emma, and Warren -- or, well, Karla'll probably tell him, but -- tell them we said goodbye. And this is me, saying goodbye to you. Thank you. There's not much we can do, but -- just. Thank you, Eric. If you can figure out how to stop this, try, but...it was an honor knowing you when I did."
If theres not a walkoff the next time I see you I will be so disappointed.
After three years, Karla knew that sometimes the phones acted up. Unfortunately, when she was very busy with something else (for example, inventory at 'Dite's) she could be a little braindead. Which was why she was trying to call Katniss back and explain to her about the stupid phones.
"For one thing, darling, you are very cute. You should stop being surprised when people tell you that. But, anyway, about that phone call--" And then the call dropped.
A minute later, a text arrived. Sorry about that. Lost my erection.
That was SUPPOSED to say 'reception.'
"For one thing, darling, you are very cute. You should stop being surprised when people tell you that. But, anyway, about that phone call--" And then the call dropped.
A minute later, a text arrived. Sorry about that. Lost my erection.
That was SUPPOSED to say 'reception.'
And sometime on Friday, a package would be delivered. Guess what it was. Just guess.
Wrong, it was two little boxes of dirt.
Told you I'd keep sending it. -J
Wrong, it was two little boxes of dirt.
Told you I'd keep sending it. -J
Hey, guess what. When you woke up looking like your dead twin, you got a text.
This is me texting out of work tomorrow. See you next week.
This is me texting out of work tomorrow. See you next week.
It took Eric a while to get the message due to being asleep, but when he did, his response was immediate:
The fuck?
The fuck?
What? Do none of your employees ever call out?
She was trying to be considerate in her trauma here.
She was trying to be considerate in her trauma here.
Eric thought about it.
Not often, no. I don't think Tiny has much of a life. Heading home?
Not often, no. I don't think Tiny has much of a life. Heading home?
With most other employees, Eric would have replied with a mental "eh" and moved on with his un-life.
But this was Jaina, so he asked, Anything I can help with?
But this was Jaina, so he asked, Anything I can help with?
Unless he had powers she didn't know about...
Not really. It'll be fine in a couple days.
Not really. It'll be fine in a couple days.
She really did appreciate that. And the fact that she got nice!Eric.
I will. Thanks.
I will. Thanks.
Hey, look! A text!
There was a picture of a very drunk blonde girl in a plaid belly shirt, standing on a bar and attempting to make a lasso with her hair.
whats the bset way 2 inurjre tihs person
There was a picture of a very drunk blonde girl in a plaid belly shirt, standing on a bar and attempting to make a lasso with her hair.
whats the bset way 2 inurjre tihs person
You could wait for gravity, Eric suggested, or yank her by her presumably tacky cheap cowboy boots while her hair covers her eyes.
That sounded like a good plan, actually. April liked that plan. She just had one question.
if she kcks me, are her eyes off lmiits?
if she kcks me, are her eyes off lmiits?
Not at all, Eric assured her. Tell her that her fake boobs are terrible, too.
thx, April replied sincerely. ill pass it on. youre th best
[[ From here (http://abakingmetaphor.livejournal.com/554.html?thread=554#t554) ]]
"Okay I'm pretty sure you got the wrong number like the squirrel person but for the record my shower is awesome. I've got a shower head that...does absolutely nothing for me, really...I gotta go."
"Okay I'm pretty sure you got the wrong number like the squirrel person but for the record my shower is awesome. I've got a shower head that...does absolutely nothing for me, really...I gotta go."
Edited 2013-05-17 05:41 (UTC)
[From here!]
"Man, kid, I'm sure whoever you didn't wanna thank would've appreciated it. But that's not em so I'm gonna delete this for you."
"Man, kid, I'm sure whoever you didn't wanna thank would've appreciated it. But that's not em so I'm gonna delete this for you."
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